13 February 2006 Today the swelling is almost completely diminished. What a relief. I’ve got my training schedule written out for the next two weeks, and then I’ll reassess and see how it’s working out. My back also seems to have recovered from whatever I did a month or so ago. And MissB is doing well. Life is good. Today, I also started the protein bar experiment.14 February 2006 Biked the 20 miles using the higher gears without a problem. I’m frustrated beyond words with this new doctor. Today, rumor has it, the deltoid should be back to ‘normal.’ So it’s time to start upping the routines as of tomorrow.
15 February 2006 Biked 10 miles in good time. I almost got creamed by a guy making a right-hand turn in front of me. Never mind he had a red light. But as my folks would say ‘It would be his fault and your funeral.’ So I managed to simply yell ‘AYE!’ It should have been heard for at least a quarter mile round. My heart has settled and now it’s back to work. You’d think that with all the exercise yesterday I’d fall into bed and sleep, but no. I’m so wound up with this doctor I can’t settle. We’ll see how it goes today with the second run through. He may not be worth the frustration. I have to remind myself that I really am good at what I do. After turning off the air purifier and MissB’s fan and hoping MissB would be quiet and closing my bedroom door and waiting for my mom to finish practicing piano at the other end of the house I was able to finish my work all right. The house had to be absolutely quiet. Even then, there were still a half-dozen words I didn’t get. But I am getting it. I still have to decide if it’s worth it.
16 February 2006 Biked 20 miles in less than 2 hours with stops for picking up work. I’m feeling quite good today. I do most of my biking in a slightly higher gear now. I can remember when the lower gear was sooooo hard to do and now it’s too easy. My dad ran errands with me this morning and I did pretty well. And we had a good time. MissB is doing all right. It seems her favorite treat, BONZ, are no longer made, so I purchased some gourmet treats for once in a while. She seems to like those. My child with expensive tastes! LOL!!
17 February 2006 I was so tired this morning. I did not want to bike my 10 miles. I’ve been doing only eight, what would it hurt? I stayed the course and did the 10 and when I reached my turn around point another cyclist had caught up to me. Blonde and cute and a very nice smile! We exchanged greetings and I’m soooo glad I biked the 10! LOL! On another path of thought, I also came to the realization that I must set up menus for myself to be sure I eat enough of the right things. So now I’ve got a training schedule and a weekly menu. This is all so new to me, and it scares me and delights me all at the same time. I entered Gondor today, with Gandalf and Pippin.
18 February 2006 I slept well for the first time in a long time last night. I actually woke feeling rested. When was the last time I did that? I do not know. Today, it is now nine months away from El Tour de Tucson. I added a one-pound weight to one of the rounds of my physical therapy. It was so easy; I was tempted to do more, but I know that’s how I get hurt. I push too hard too soon, so I kept it to the one. I’ll add another next week and slowly build week by week. Having a printed schedule makes it a little easier to see the progress, both where I’ve come from and where I’m going. The power went out for almost an hour and a half last night. I read Brother Cadfael’s The Virgin in the Ice aloud to MissB the whole time. She gets nervous in the dark unless it’s bedtime. I discovered reading aloud to her when the power when out this summer and I read The Hobbit to her. :-)
19 February 2006 I’ve woken up with a bit of a sore throat, so today is truly going to be a day of rest and drinking lots of fluids. There isn’t time in the schedule for being sick. LOL! The stuffy head does help with the thinking process. It may simply be all the wind we’ve been having and still no rain. Rain would clean the air. We need that. What am I grateful for this week? I’ve successfully tweaked up my exercise and physical therapy. MissB is doing well. I’ve managed to complete my work, even if grumpily. I even managed to get a little writing done. After my personal devotional and walking MissB (that must be done no matter what), I’ll try to get some writing done. It’s difficult to describe, but it feels a bit as if I’m complete when I’m able to express the creativity within me. Though I find it amusing and amazing when I read over what I’ve written and wonder where it came from, but then, I know. All the years before, how did I face each day unaware of this gift, for it is a gift indeed. But the truth is: I was aware of the gift but did not cultivate it. I remember being told that one can’t make a living at writing, so I abandoned it, as I did so many other dreams. It has occurred to me that God gave me Pawn, my horse, for such a brief time, not to be cruel by separating us so soon, but to remind me that He grants dreams and wishes, if we are willing to accept it at His hand. I never believed I’d be able to own a horse, and yet I did for five years. It opened the door to the possibility that other dreams could be realized, so writing was once again restored to me. It occurs to me that God has a magical way of working on a variety of levels all at once; He knows how to get the biggest bang for His buck. LOL! So why is it so difficult for me to trust in Him? Perhaps the real truth of the matter comes back to a lack of trust in Me. God is not teaching me trust in Him; He knows that lies firmly within in, but He is endeavoring to teach me to trust myself. I believe I am learning, line upon line, precept on precept, here a little, there a little, just as He intended. It’s simply ever so much easier if I don’t fight it with my own fears but then again that is what this trust issue is all about. Trusting God to guide me in the path He has laid for me and trusting myself to follow His guidance. Blessedly, God doesn’t even mind if I make mistakes. In fact, He expects it and has provided a way for me to correct my course, every day, through repentance. What a frightening word that was to me, for so long. And yet, truly, repentance is simply about correcting one’s course to more closely follow God’s way. All He wants for me is peace and joy in Him. No matter how difficult the path before me, He walks it with me and has blessed me with some wonderful people to keep me company, not to mention a spirited horse for a time and a remarkable dog. How blessed I am and how grateful. God is good.