21 August 2006 I’m settling into a daily 12-mile routine Monday-Friday, then walking on Saturday. Mon-Fri also includes a short walk, around the corner, and physical therapy. Sat includes physical therapy. I’m tired all the time, but I think that’s almost a normal state with me, probably has to do with adrenal exhaustion. I still miss MissB; not unexpected, I know. I’m glad I’ve got today off. Well, considering I worked Sat, this is really more like when I worked in Yellowstone and my scheduled days off were Sunday and Monday. I’ll work on getting more water down today. My ears are ringing more than usual today; it’s annoying. I can feel the summer weather shifting into fall. This morning was a little cooler. What a blessing.22 August 2006 It stormed last night and again this morning. I was allowed to take the car to pick up work, which is helpful, and yet, my parents have once again turned up the thermostat, even though I have repeatedly told them that I prefer it cooler. They can put on sweaters, but I can’t take clothes off. What tears at my heart is that they willingly kept the house cooler for MissB, but they flatly refuse to do it for me. It’s time to follow Kevin’s advice and mourn the parents and family I don’t have and will never have.
23 August 2006 It has occurred to me that I have been mourning for most of my life. I need to ask Kevin how do I finally move on?! I miss my baby dog. I found pictures of her from several years back. It was a little surprising to see how black her whole face used to be and I could feel she wasn’t in any pain in those pictures... She was so brave, for so long. I biked 12 miles today, did my physical therapy and walked about 2 miles throughout the day. I’m eating better. I just hope I can stick with it. One day at a time.
24 August 2006 Only got a four-mile bike ride in today before I heard the thunder. The storm was quite spectacular.
25 August 2006 Biked 13 miles today and walked 2 miles as well as my physical therapy. My sister is thinking about doing the Walk for the Cure event in October and asked me to join her. I have to get myself in shape.
26 August 2006 Ruth and I walked two miles today and did it in pretty good time without wearing ourselves out too much. I also asked her to show me her callanetics. I think they’ll be a good addition to my physical therapy as they are strength builders and toners in small movements. Ruth has decided she wants to participate in the Komen Walk for the Cure, and I’m joining her. We signed up with team ASU Gold this morning. When she went to Border’s this afternoon she discovered a book signing with the author of “Write. 10 Days to Overcome Writer’s block. Period.” She’s letting me read it first. I’m looking forward to it. My lawyer dropped off work so I did that this evening. This way I’ll have Sunday and Monday off, just like my work schedule in Yellowstone.
27 August 2006 Today, I sent an email to my core group, letting them know of my plans to participate in the breast cancer event in October, with my sister. I’ve come to the decision that I can be whoever and whatever I want to be, but what do I want? So I’m exploring. We’ll see where this new adventure takes me. I know I want to write, but what more?